How NOT to defend yourself – Or surviving a Zombie ATTACK!!!

The picture i’m about to share with you is doing the rounds of Facebook and other social media.  I’m sure whoever thought it up really did have the best interest of people at heart but the advice in it is so bad I just had to do a short post to debunk it.  If you do see this picture, PLEASE don’t forward it on anymore.  It is likely to get someone seriously hurt or worse and I will go into the reasons for that in a moment.

Here is the picture in all its glory….


Just from the first 3 steps alone, its BAD advice.

Step 1.  You see some weird zombie looking guy approach you with arms outstretched.  Lets consider something we could do right now in step one to stop them.  The lady could knock the arms out of the way then hit him back, although my initial reaction would be to have her KICK to zombie hard and fast.  Legs are longer than arms in general so she should use her legs to her advantage.

Step 2. Ducking down.  Ok, if this is a zombie attacking and doing so in stereotypical slow fashion, then she would possibly have the time to duck down like this.  In reality, if its a guy rushing in towards her, ducking down as he comes in with momentum is probably not the best idea.  He can react by dropping his arms down and grabbing you and wrestling you to the ground. He could smash his knee into your head. Or he could just use his momentum to knock you over anyways.  Don’t try this at home kids….

Step 3.  Lets powerfully spring up hitting the zombie in the chin or face with our head.  That is going to hurt… the defender.  It even has the potential for you to help your lovely zombie attacker out by having you knock yourself out. That’s right.  Lets get ourselves in a state of unconsciousness as a means to defend ourselves from something bad happening to us.  Brilliant advice.

Steps 4,5 and 6.  Assuming we haven’t knocked ourselves out and have stunned said zombie its time for our counter attacks.  Yee Ha.  You go girl. Beat him up like your Daryl from the walking dead.  Minus the crossbows of course.

Step 8-9.  Assuming its a zombie, fine.  Kick him while he is down, who cares.  If its a human being then your risking the fact that you have now turned what was potentially an attack on you from a self defence, into an assault on your own attacker.  Yup that’s right.  If you have someone attack you, and you knock them down you have defended yourself.  Congratulations. Now get away from them as fast as you can and get safe. Stamping on them, kicking them while they are prone on the floor and you have turned it into an assault on them.  Great some of you might think.  He deserved it.  But do you really want to risk going to jail if the only witness to what happened just so happened to catch the end of the confrontation and all they see is this horrible violent woman kicking an injured man while down on the ground.  Hows that for adding insult to injury.  Hell you may even have to pay him compensation for your violent attack on him.  I’m sure there are plenty of lawyers out there who will take this case on a no win no fee basis.

And finally, lets think about the situation.  Even if this “DEFENCE” worked.  You’re being attacked, the blood is rushing to your limbs as your fight or flight system kicks in.  The adrenaline is flooding your system and your brain, through lack of blood is slowing down and finding it much harder to think clearly. Now you have to try and remember steps 1 to 9 while under pressure and its something you only saw on Facebook, not something you actually practiced with any repetition so that it becomes an unconscious reaction to the attack.  The trick is to keep self defence movements as SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE so you can remember them when your brain isn’t working as all the blood as gone to your limbs.

Yes,i’m being very tongue in cheek with this blog post, but the principle is there.  This kind of stuff is dangerous to pass on.  Its amateurish, and more likely to result in the woman getting seriously hurt than it is in her defending herself.  IF you are that worried about someone and want them to be safe then send them to a well run self defence class, like mine :).  They can learn safe, effective self defence skills that wont result in them knocking themselves out and leaving themselves to the mercy of some weird zombie man….

I hope you enjoy this article.  If your interested in Choi Kwang Do classes for your child, family member or yourself and are in the Bristol or Trowbridge area then please go to my web site at for more information on our Choi Kwang Do classes that are great for teaching you self defence, self-confidence and also keeping you fit and healthy no matter your age.  We offer 2 FREE lessons to all who sign up via the web site.

If you don’t live in my area and are interested in Choi Kwang Do then please visit where you can find the nearest location to you.  Most of the classes offer some sort of free lessons so please take a look.


Dale Miller

Master Instructor of Choi Kwang Do.


One thought on “How NOT to defend yourself – Or surviving a Zombie ATTACK!!!

  1. I am not a CHOI KWANG DO exponent but I was most impressed by your article…in a street fight there are no rules, sport fighting works in a ring….although there are differences between CKD and my art Wing Chun the basic concept of no rules in the street have struct accord with me… Do what ever it takes
    Its a pity more martial arts do not focus on reality


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